My Worst Enemy

 Well, here we are, my first ever blog post. I'm here to document the trials and tribulations of trying to set up my first ever business. Not just any business mind you, but a creative business. I'm toiling away making handmade jewellery from base metals (I'm well into steel at the moment but perhaps I'll go into that more on a later blog). I thought I would kick off, hopefully on not too much of a negative note, with something that is a big obstacle for any person looking to set up their own business, particularly selling something they have created with their own hands.
 This thing of which I speak  is my worst enemy. A huge grey presence that lurks over my shoulder, just out of sight but very much there. This terrible and dreadful monster is my own self-doubt. Let's call him Kevin, I find naming things helps. Kevin doesn't tell me that I'm unable to do things or that I'm not good enough. Oh no, he's much cleverer than that.  He just asks question after question until my certainty dissolves. For example, I've just made something I'm really pleased with, let's say it's a necklace, here's the conversation I have with Kevin:

Me: Wow, that's a really lovely piece, I'm so happy with it, I bet somebody will snap this up!

Kevin: Is it that good though, really?

Me: Of course it is, I love the shape.

Kevin: Do you? Do you think it's a straight as it should be?

Me: It's supposed to look a bit rustic you know.

Kevin: Is it? Are you sure it doesn't look a bit messy?

Me: Of course not, it's really nice.

Kevin: Really? Are you sure?

Me: Ok, you're right, I'll start again...

 You see? Terrible. He is both insidious and persistent.

 When I first started looking into setting up my own business I attended an excellent Prince's Trust Exploring Enterprise course. It caused three very conflicting reactions in me:

1. "I have learnt so much, I now know what I need to do in order to get the ball rolling".
2. "These other people in the room are so very inspirational and so very together, I'm a long way off being as organised and ready as they are" (that was, in case you haven't gathered, the Kevin response). 
3. "Free lunches are great but in future avoid unlabelled quiches". 

 It has since become clear to me that these other brilliant young people in the room, with their upcycling businesses and mountain bike wheel making businesses and garages and boutiques and immersive film-screening (I know, how good does that sound?), have found a way to suppress their Kevins.
 Now I know it is possible I am determined to do the same with my own self-doubt. I'm launching my own Slap Down Kevin Campaign and am looking for hints and tips from anyone who has managed this. As long as it doesn't involve looking at myself in a mirror and repeating "I am a strong, confident woman", I'll give it a go.

 As I said, I hope this isn't too much of a negative topic for my first blog, next time I'll write about setting up a website from the point of view of someone who misses Windows 3.1 and dot matrix printers and can't understand when technology got so complicated. Am I old before my time? Am I too young to be nostalgic? Will I ever figure out hosting and domains, not to mention online payment gateways? Find out soon!